Main

April 1, 2009

For the past three months, I along with five partners have toiled in stealth mode to build a disruptive product that will revolutionize media consumption as we know it, by synergizing television watching with bicycle riding. Leveraging unparalleled loyalties to both recreational activities, it is our intent to forge a new market based on mobile multimedia and capitalize upon emerging opportunities.

In short: we have developed the HeadSprout, the world’s first fully-integrated bike- and head-mounted digital television system.

Continue reading "Introducing the HeadSprout" »

This morning, Mozilla officially renamed “add-ons” to “change-arounds”. Apparently the move is intended to capitalize on Barack Obama’s campaign for President, which centered around the word “change”.

Add-ons never added to my hard drive’s available space, and the extensions I’ve authored never added to my bottom line. So, though I find the new name a bit awkward, I’m thrilled that Mozilla is finally listening to the more pedantic parts of their user base for once. I just Twittered a Mozilla official, who wished to either remain anonymous or place me under an NDA. He assured me – off the record – that the Internet Explorer team plans to make the same change to their browser interface, possibly as soon as the next Patch Tuesday come-arounds.

Mozilla had planned to rename the feature “Take-outs” – reflecting the subtractive nature of many extensions and themes – and had already commissioned a series of cute Chinese take-out box icons. However, the nearby Lucky Wok restaurant stepped in at the last minute, threatening legal action. “Developers need Chinese take-out for late-night coding sessions,” explained the official, again off the record. “You wouldn’t believe how many bugs we’ve traced back to the presence of pizza or TV dinners in the building. You just don’t get that with moo goo gai pan.”

I’ve just updated AVIM’s website and its listing at Firefox Change-arounds to reflect the change. The Mozilla official fully expects other change-around developers to follow suit. But you didn’t hear it from him.

[Update] After much outcry from such Facebook groups as “I miss OLD Firefox Add-ons!!!11!!”, Mozilla has changed the name back. The fact that it’s now April 2nd must’ve factored into the decision, too.

October 7, 2008

Stanford’s Career Development Center provides your typical list of action verbs to add that fleeting pizzaz to your résumé. After all, who wants to be something good long-term, when you can do something good and be done with it already? So for those still padding their résumés and for everyone else’s reading pleasure, here are 25 completely reasonable suggestions for action-filled job descriptions, ranging from the inept to the utterly inept, and extrapolated from the CDC’s action verbs (in bold):

  1. Acted childishly.
  2. Conceptualized nebulous abstractions.
  3. Imagined being CEO.
  4. Planned to get work done.
  5. Contracted and delegated it out instead.
  6. Figured the job was for life.
  7. Arranged deck chairs on the Titanic.
  8. Cut and pasted. Copied too.
  9. Discovered gravity.
  10. Referred self to psychiatrist.
  11. Drew the curtains.
  12. Oversawed plywood for the deck out back.
  13. Invented all kinds of excuses.
  14. Fabricated lies unabashedly.
  15. Maintained own innocence.
  16. Bound and gagged.
  17. Drove self home every night.
  18. Merged onto I-75.
  19. Installed spyware accidentally.
  20. Operated a pencil sharpener.
  21. Collated. (Yes, collated.)
  22. Produced bugs.
  23. Furnished own apartment.
  24. Assembled IKEA furniture.
  25. Interviewed self for the job already; thanks for the offer. (Problem solved.)

Amelia Bedelia would be proud.

Warning: Tongue planted firmly in cheek.


  1. Introducing the HeadSprout
  2. AVIM extension is now AVIM change-around
  3. Résumé
  4. Snow?
  5. Keyboarding for pianists
  6. October through January
  7. Homophone
  8. Glass half full (minus a smidgin)
  9. Random acts of capitalization
  10. Squawk!
  11. Driving through cornfields
  12. 1.) Fall off seat. 2.) Laugh.
  13. When I was five
  14. Mom, I canceled class today
  15. Know thy sources
  16. For the disoriented
  17. In an orderly fashion
  18. Never gets old
  19. Đại Hội Thánh Mẫu 2006
  20. Artist’s conception
  21. What goes around
  22. Going somewhere?
  23. Shut down
  24. Dead as a doorknob
  25. π≈
  26. End of line
  27. Priorities
  28. A thousand songs, in the seat behind you
  29. Ten things that irk me
  30. Old habits
  31. Link fest!
  32. Catching up on everything else
  33. Misplaced zeal
  34. Indeterminate Vector
  35. Going Out: Breaking the rules
  36. Sign of progress
  37. Thirteenth
  38. Going out
  39. Limit of major weekly publication as logic approaches zero
  40. Last Blueprint critique of my high school career
  41. School approves budget for 2005-06 school year
  42. Back to mundanity, part 1
  43. Resistance is futile
  44. … shame on me
  45. Fool me once…
  46. Sports update
  47. Blueprint delivers timely issue
  48. SMILEing
  49. Word of mouth
  50. Picking nits with the Blueprint
  51. Top this: Weber 2005
  52. More waste of space
  53. Behind enemy lines
  54. Negative five
  55. Vending some trouble
  56. Turning point
  57. Inspector General (or current resident)
  58. Godwin’s law
  59. Discrepancy
  60. Serving others
  61. Not yet
  62. Lastest news
  63. What an honor
  64. Grammatical fallacy
  65. Stay tuned…
  66. Hail to the Chief
  67. In the third person
  68. A new religion
  69. Steak and Hummers
  70. What I want
  71. Between the lines
  72. Coded
  73. GLAT you asked
  74. Worth 117 words
  75. Saying something
  76. Preferencial treatment
  77. Political hack
  78. Devalued
  79. Last-minute changes
  80. The best flavor you’ve ever tasted!
  81. We accomodate
  82. For those too familiar with e
  83. No fair!
  84. Está abierta… en cierto modo
  85. Management class
  86. Synergy (or the lack thereof)
  87. The computer ate my homework
  88. International Webloggers’ Day
  89. Your other left
  90. Three-finger salute
  91. Parasitism?
  92. Slowing down (to look at all the signs)
  93. Weber 2004
  94. Spam going cosmic
  95. Inside the Onion
  96. BioFest 2004
  97. Emperor Norton
  98. Were you fooled?
  99. Analyzationism
  100. Orange with three white stripes
  101. Why read over contracts?
  102. Let’s Jive!
  103. I’m a Latin scholar!
  104. Albert
  105. Thank you
  106. Squawk!
  107. Answers
  108. How Convenient
  109. Parting Gift
  110. Chief Prisoner
  111. ♪Smile, you’re on my phone’s camera!♪
  112. Any key
  113. Spam
  114. Back… again
  115. Here’s a cupholder
  116. For immediate release
  117. Mental Note
  118. Oh, those French!
  119. Clippy, Attorney-at-Law
  120. I am…
  121. Plans
  122. Dinner at McDonald’s
  123. Pronunciation
  124. Better than who?!
  125. Today’s Date
  126. Phony
  127. Bushism of the Day
  128. Impending Doom
  129. Detention
  130. Getting Down to Earth
  131. beWregniM
  132. Coming down to Earth…
  133. Arrrrrrgh!
  134. Impersonation
  135. Overstating the Obvious... Obviously
  136. Say what?
  137. The Hat
  138. Um, yeah right
  139. Sesquipedalia