Minh’s Notes

A hearty welcome to a good Midwestern friend of mine, self-styled “The Author” (especially in face-to-face conversation), who has followed me into the code-tourist trap apparently known as “Sam Clam’s disco”. You’ll love it here: it’s the most culturally and technologically advanced population center this side of the Asteroid Belt, judging solely by the number of iPhones in use at any given moment. (Honestly, Mars & co. aren’t much competition.)

You’ll probably appreciate these useful use-relative tips from a fellow Midwesterner who’s been stuck in these parts for the last few years:

1. The City and County of San Francisco holds a monopoly on all destinations in “the City”. Most of the other municipalities reduced their market share to a combined 5‰ after throwing their support behind the Raiders decades ago.
2. If someone asks what party you belong to, you’re in tricky waters: liberalism only extends roughly 50 miles from the corner of Jackson and Stockton in the City, near which point stands an X-rated fortune cookie factory. (Of course it’s relevant.) But beyond that, you’re in territory so red it makes those cheap plastic cups look downright green. Anyways, just say you’re with the Flat-Pluto Society, for if there’s one thing the locals love more than a partisan fight, it’s a lost cause.
3. Supposedly the cops here aren’t allowed to blame you for the enhanced framerate built into their standard-issue sunglasses.
4. Though this is Northern California, you’ll find plenty of SoCal expatriates who care deeply about definite articles. So to head off the 101 / the 101 controversy, just call it “Root 101”, nice and proper.
5. A visit to Costco requires a full day off work, just to navigate the crowds. Your manager may be able to provide you with a canned out-of-office response that consists of: “Costco run.”
6. Chipotle burritos don’t count as burritos. They aren’t served with habañeros from a kitchen on wheels for less than $5.
7. Snow is what you put in a cone, not what you toss into the street only to have Public Works shove right back onto your driveway.
8. Bookmark this page, so you know whether that shaking came from the rock a mile down or your neighbors a floor up.
9. Get a GPS, so you don’t accidentally get stuck in an infinite loop.
10. Cell phone reception is terrible, so ditch it and grab a landline. TV reception is fickle, so ditch it and read the newspaper. Local GPS data is poor, so ditch it and buy an atlas. Electricity is spotty some years, so ditch it and dig out your kerosene lamp instead.

Did I mention it’s the most technologically advanced population center this side of the Asteroid Belt?

Entry №2274, posted by Minh Nguyễn at 2:50 AM | Edit | Permalink
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Maybe I’m increasing the signal-to-noise ratio at Facebook?

Those of you who’ve known me for awhile probably know of my contempt for so-called “social networking” sites. If they were merely about getting in touch with long-lost friends and looking up someone’s e-mail address, and maybe even bragging about how many favorite colors you have, I’d have no problem with MySpace, Facebook, and the like. But they’re run by for-profit companies, of course, and that means they need a way to monetize our eyeballs. My eyeballs don’t want to be monetized.

I once described social networking sites as “one giant, conflated popularity contest”. I still think that’s the case with MySpace, but Facebook has since been more cunning about its whole business. You can easily find fault with a service where you’re encouraged to maintain a tell-all profile, add as many “friends” as possible, and chitchat with them, but do nothing much else. Facebook, however, caters not only to the super-vain among us, but also to those who have something better to do there. Applications. Facebook is a bazaar, and there’s something for everyone at a bazaar.

This blog has been my soapbox for nearly six years, but after high school, its readership declined considerably, not helped by the fact that Google relegated it to the second page of results for my name. That’s where Facebook came in. Although I was initially wary of its terms of service, Facebook was an irresistible distribution channel for my blog. I relented, and now it’s where the majority of my readers come from.

People are quitting Facebook cold turkey. But as much as I’d like to follow suit one of these days – having already backed up everything I’ve ever done on the site with the glory that is ScrapBook – I can’t quite leave yet, because along with Facebook would go my audience: you. My profile stays, for now. As much as I dislike their tactics, I know how the record labels must feel, so beholden to Apple for sales.

Soapboxes exist to tell everyone what they didn’t know they wanted to hear. If you stand on one, you scream at the top of your lungs, at every chance you get. It’s too bad Facebook just happens to be holding the donation hat.

Entry №1162, posted by Minh Nguyễn at 5:40 PM | Edit | Permalink
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In 2004, I went with some fellow high schoolers on a mission trip to Chicago. Towards the end, we were treated to a day at Navy Pier and all the touristy areas downtown. On the way back, we stood waiting for the Blue Line train in a brightly-lit but very boring station underground. (Matt, who had a knack for napping wherever he went, leaned into a small nook in the wall and promptly began sleeping.) Soon, a man nearby pulled out his guitar. His strumming wasn’t so bad, but his singing was. Despite that, we sang along, added a bit to his donation box, and stayed around until the train came. Though the music he produced didn’t hold a candle to the stuff in our iPods, it was very welcome. It was real; it was there.

The Washington Post ran a story today about an experiment that saw renowned violinist Joshua Bell perform in street clothes, during rush hour, at a busy DC Metro station:

No one knew it, but the fiddler standing against a bare wall outside the Metro in an indoor arcade at the top of the escalators was one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made. His performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities—as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?

The article is a beautiful profile of the harried, hurried crowd. But really, you don’t need a virtuoso. There’s already plenty to observe wherever you go. The guy in the corner with the multi-million-dollar Stradivarius? He’s just there to show you what everyone else is missing out on.

Many thanks to Steve Nguyễn for the tip.

Entry №1105, posted by Minh Nguyễn at 2:28 PM | Edit | Permalink
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